The Readiness of the Adopted Child

Many consider that children, at an early stage, should be told that they are adopted. Studies have shown that by the age of three (3), a child is old enough to understand the story behind his or her adoption. When telling the story behind the adoption, it is important not to criticize the child's birth mother. The self- esteem of the child builds up knowing that the birth mother is capable of loving him or her.

At the age of six (6), the child is expected to start feeling afraid of being given away for the second time. Parents should expect this kind of behavior from their adopted child. Receiving statements like "You're not my real mother" is expected at this point.

At the puberty stage, the child should be given time to fully express his or her feelings about being adopted. Identity crisis usually happens at this age because the child have no idea who his birth parents are]. It is common for them to spend efforts in tracing records and trying to locate their birth parents. Some even in the latter stage consult to an Adoption Search Specialist after discovering that they are adopted.

When the child starts asking for the story behind the adoption, parents should be honest and gentle as possible. Offer to help in finding the birth parents if he or she decides to search for them. The adoptive parents should be counseled and be prepared to accept this kind of behavior from their adopted child.

Keep in mind that the child is not rejecting you for trying to look for his or her birth parents. Children look for their birth parents not because they don't love their adoptive parents, but because they long for something to believe and feel in order to fit in this world.

It is normal for the adopted child to seek for his or her birth parents at some point of discovering the story behind the adoption. Some even resort to an Adoption Search Specialist, hoping to successfully finding their real parents.

Article Source: EzineArticles.com